


This coffee needs more cream...

by tinypeckers



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:32:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5637394
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinypeckers/pseuds/tinypeckers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You’re really short and cute and you buy a cup of black coffee every morning but you make weird faces as you sip it and you never finish your drink are you trying to look mature or something’ AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	This coffee needs more cream...

**Author's Note:**

> So I saw this prompt and I couldn't help myself and then it got away from me and well, yeah.
> 
> 3,000+ words of fluff.
> 
> Enjoy?

“Michael, we are not the type of new Yorkers who hang out in a coffee shop.” Ray said. The door opened and the bell above them chimed far too loudly for Ray’s liking.

“Quit complaining. It’s cold and I heard that these guys do some good hot chocolate.” Michael wiped his shoes on the mat provided. Ray walked past him to squint at the menu board.

“So which one does this make you? I’d say Chandler, but I’m the funny one. You can’t be Joey either because you lack sex appeal, my friend.” Ray laughed to himself.

“Ray, shut up. I am not any of the cast from friends… and I have sex appeal.” Michael hit Ray’s arm.

“Of course, every girl likes a clean shaven man that looks like a toddler.” Ray said. Michael glared at him. Ray shrugged him off, “you’re definitely Ross.” He added.

“I hate you with the fiery passion of the sun.” Michael said.

 

“Hello, how can I help you today?” The barista interjected their bickering. Ray finally looked at him. He had nice, blond looks and piercing blue eyes. The polo shirt that was part of his uniform must have been a size too small as it clung to his skin. Even the apron he’d tied around his waist seemed to struggle to hold on. He looked older than them but age hadn’t decreased his beauty.

“I would like some hot chocolate please.” Michael said. He looked to Ray, “are you getting anything, Chandler?” He said. The barista smirked.

“Are you paying?” Ray asked. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Would you order if I say yes?” Michael said.

“I’ll take a… black coffee please.” Ray pointed briefly at the barista before dropping his hand.

 

Michael looked at his friend strangely but didn’t say anything else.

“Will that be all?” The barista said.

“Yeah, that’s all. Thank you.” Michael fished out some notes from his pocket.

“Okay, if you just wait at the other end of the bar over there for your drinks. They’ll be with you shortly.”

“Great, thank you.” Michael pushed Ray towards the end of the bar. Ray went reluctantly.

 

“What was that all about, anyway? Black coffee? You drink milk like water.” Michael leaned against the countertop.

“Yeah, well I wanted to seem sophisticated. Also, fuck you – I’m Rachel.” Ray said.

“Why? Who are you trying to impress and what, Rachel?” Michael stared at his friend.

“I couldn’t help myself… the barista is cute. Of course I’m Rachel, I’m hot and poor.” Ray ran his fingers through his hair.

“Rachel isn’t poor, her parents are loaded.” The barista came back, still smiling at their conversation.

“Here are your drinks.” He handed them to Michael.

“Thanks, man.” Ray took his coffee, “also, look at you with all your friends knowledge.” He said.

“So I’ve watched a few episodes, it looks like you need to watch some more.” Michael said.

 

 

They walked away from the bar, their drinks in hand.

“Michael, I’ve got much better things to do.” Ray said.

“Yeah, like what? Play video games until four in the morning? Sleep until three in the afternoon?” Michael laughed at his friend. Ray rewarded him with a near-hit to Michael’s balls.

“Shut up, I don’t want him to hear.” Ray said.

“It’s not like you’re going to be seeing him again anytime soon. I thought you weren’t the type of New Yorker to go to coffee shops.” Michael said.

“I’m not but maybe one hot barista has changed my mind,” Ray sipped his coffee. “This is disgusting.” He chucked the drink into the bin.

“Hey, I paid for that!” Michael said.

“And you can make it up to me by buying me some doritos.” Ray said.

 

~

 

Ray bounced on his feet outside of gamestop. He stood among a crowd of people waiting for the doors to open. No matter how many times he rubbed his hands together they still felt like ice.

“Damn,” he muttered to himself despite the strangers’ looks, “I knew I should have bought a coat.” Ray tugged at the sleeves of his twitch jacket. He wrapped the cuffs around his hands and sighed. When the doors opened, Ray was caught up in a sea of people and was pushed towards the door. He used his elbows to get ahead of a few straggly teenagers.

“Get the fuck of my way, I deserve this game more than you bitches.” Ray said.

 

He ended up being third in line. Ray walked past the long, long line that had gathered behind with a smug smirk. He was one of the many who hadn’t been able to pre-order the game in time. But Ray was one of the few of those who’d get it on the day of release. He swung the bag as he walked. Ray was looking forward to a hot pocket, half a bag of doritos and… a coffee. The bright, inviting sign of the coffee shop he’d been in the other day stood out to Ray like a sore thumb. He dug around in his pocket for some change and found a spare buck or two. They were crumpled but useable. Ray sighed and opened the door. He cringed at the sound of that pathetic, little bell.

 

“Hi, how can I help- oh hey, it’s you.” The same barista said. Ray smiled, “Its Rachel, right?”

“It’s Ray, actually.” Ray said. “But I’m glad that you remembered I’m the hot, poor one.”

“Of course. So it’ll be a black coffee, yeah?” The barista was already ringing up the order. Ray chewed upon his lower lip. He nodded.

“Yeah, and I’ll take your name with that.” Ray said. The barista laughed.

“It’s Ryan… but you could call me Joey.” Ryan said. Ray smirked.

“Well, you’ve certainly got the sex appeal.” Ray said, “Are you an actor?”

“I did study theatre in college.” Ryan handed Ray his change. “You can collect your drink at the other end.” Ryan said.

 

Ray drummed his fingers upon the countertop. He chewed the nails of his free hand. Occasionally, he pulled his hand away to look at the nubs he’d chewed them into. Ray dropped his hand when he saw the pink tips. A cup pushed his hand away.

“Here’s your drink, Rachel.” Ryan said. Ray took it gratefully.

“Thanks, Joey.” Ray winked at his new friend. He headed towards the door but decided against it, taking a seat in one of the chairs instead. The coffee was still too hot to drink, not that Ray wanted to drink it. He toyed with the cup. He ran his fingers around the edges. Ray quickly retracted them, wiping the pads of his fingers against his t-shirt.

 

He lifted the cup, brought it to his lips and gently lowered it again. The barista, Ryan, he was watching him. Ray smiled in his direction. He didn’t stare long enough to see the barista smile back at him. Ray lifted the cup again. He stuck his tongue out to lick the rim of the cup. He took in a deep breath. Ray tipped the cup towards his mouth and swallowed a big, blistering mouthful of black coffee. Ray’s eyes watered as he fought to keep from spitting it out. He lowered the cup. Ryan was still watching him. Ray nodded. He swallowed.

“It’s good.” He mouthed.

 

Ray choked on the taste. He turned away from the barista. His face went through a rollercoaster of emotion, twisting and turning each second. Ray took another deep breath. He faced the coffee again. He rubbed his throat as the second swallow ran down his neck. Ray closed his eyes. He tried to imagine the hot chocolate Michael had let him taste, the smooth and sweetness of it. He shook his head. Ray took one more mouthful. He slammed the cup back onto the table. He kept his eyes closed as the coffee went down. He looked at Ryan. The barista was serving another customer. Ray grabbed the cup and his game and shuffled to the garbage can. He slipped the cup inside. Ryan looked up. Ray waved, he smiled and then turned and left. Once the door had closed behind him and the bell had chimed, Ray began to scrape the taste from his tongue.

 

~

 

“So did you see the new Adventure Time episode?” Michael said. He was typing frantically on his phone. Ray shrugged.

“I think so, but I did start it in the middle of the night after four redbulls.” Ray said. Michael scoffed.

“You’re a terrible person. It was a good episode.” Michael looked up. He stopped and Ray stopped with him. Michael looked at his friend. “Where were we going again?”

“You said you needed something to eat and I thought we were going to Walmart but you kept walking.” Ray said.

“And you didn’t think to stop me?” Michael nudged his friend.

“I thought you’d changed your mind.” Ray started to walk again.

“Have I ever told you that I hate you?” Michael followed him.

 

Ray stopped again. Michael didn’t wait for him. Ray tapped his chin, chewed upon his lip and sighed. Michael paused and turned to face his friend. Ray shrugged.

“You might have said it… once or maybe twice.” Ray said. He skipped to catch up with Michael. The other boy shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Do you know what I want to eat?” Michael said.

“Is it Doritos? Because I’m feeling Doritos.” Ray said.

“No, it’s those little muffins they sell at that coffee shop. I bought one the other day and they taste really nice.” Michael said.

“I can’t go back there.” Ray said.

 

Michael stared at his friend. He placed a hand on Ray’s shoulder.

“Why not? I thought you’d be begging to go back and thirst after that barista.” Michael said.

“Because I went back and he remembered my order and dude, black coffee is not nice.” Ray said.

“That’s hilarious. It means he’s into you. C’mon, you’re going to suffer because I want a muffin.” Michael marched towards the street he knew that the coffee shop was on.

“Michael, you’re being so unfair.” Ray dragged his feet along the payment.

“If you quit complaining I might buy you a muffin too.” Michael said.

“One with chocolate chips?” Ray darted in front of his friend.

“Sure, Ray. One with chocolate chips.” Michael said.

 

Ray glared at the bell as it chimed and announced their arrival. Michael stepped in before him. He nudged Ray when he saw who was working today.

“Ah, it’s Rachel and Ross.” Ryan said. Michael stared at him. “How you doin’?”

“Man, that was the worst impression I have ever heard – and I’ve heard Michael’s terminator impression.” Ray leaned on top of the counter top.

“Do you want that muffin or not?” Michael pushed Ray out of the way.

“Ryan, man, have I got to tell you about how amazing my buddy’s terminator impression is.” Ray clapped Michael on his back. Ryan laughed.

“Yeah, yeah… can we have a hot chocolate, two chocolate chip muffins and a black coffee please?” Michael said.

“Of course, just wait over there and I’ll bring your order over.” Ryan gestured to the end of the bar.

 

Ray headed towards the end of the bar. He tripped over Michael’s foot. He could hear his friend laughing at him. Ryan was watching them. Ray sped up.

“That was for mocking my impression.” Michael said.

“It’s not my fault you’re not Arnold Schwarzenegger material.” Ray ruffled Michael’s curly hair.

“I will be, one day.” Michael stared off into the difference. Ray nodded.

“Of course you will, buddy. Of course you will, I believe in you.” Ray dragged his hand through Michael’s hair, across his neck and down onto his shoulder.

“Stop, stop – get off of me you weirdo.” Michael shrugged him off. Ray used both of his hands to caress his friend’s body.

 

“Here are your drinks and your… muffins.” Ryan placed their order on the counter. Ray removed his hands from Michael’s body. He slammed them into his side instead.

“Thank you.” Michael said. He took the tray and headed towards one of the chairs.

“So that was… nothing, we were just like… messing around.” Ray pointed with both hands at Michael. Ryan nodded.

“Okay, enjoy your coffee.” Ryan gave Ray a little wave with his fingers. Ray watched him turn around and head towards the other side of a bar. Ray was jealous of the customer he started to serve.

“Oi, Rachel. Get over here.” Michael pulled out a chair for Ray.

“You’re embarrassing me.” Ray fell into the seat.

“No, you’re doing that yourself. Now eat your muffin and drink your coffee, dickhead.” Michael said.

 

~

 

“You know, when you said you needed groceries I thought you’d come with me to buy them.” Michael dropped the plastic bags onto Ray’s dining table.

“Oh Michael, my saviour – I need some coffee.” Ray came stumbling over from the couch. He grabbed his friend by the shoulders and shook him. “I haven’t slept in like, twenty four hours.”

“Jesus Christ Ray, get a grip. Take a shower.” Michael pushed his friend away.

“I can’t Michael, I haven’t got the achievement yet.” Ray freed the instant coffee from the bag.

“You need to take a break, make yourself some coffee, change your clothes and I’ll make you some food or something.” Michael rubbed at his nose. He looked at Ray’s clothes. They were wrinkled and were practically sticking him.

 

“Where’s the milk?” Ray rustled the bags. “How am I supposed to have a coffee without milk?”

“I thought that you like it black now.” Michael grabbed the box of mac ‘n’ cheese he’d bought.

“Michael.” Ray pushed the instant coffee away from him.

“What? It’s your regular order.” Michael shrugged.

“When I get out of the shower, I expect a coffee with milk.” Ray disappeared through a door.

 

Michael watched him go. He waited for the door to close. When it had clicked shut, Michael opened the cupboard closest to him and brought out the bag he’d stashed. He placed the milk onto the counter.

 

~

 

Ray pushed his hands into his eyes. He yawned as he walked down the street. He passed gamestop and glared at the poster in the window.

“Damn you, fallout. You’ve stolen my sleep.” He shook his fist at the store. A mother who was walking by with her son carefully moved her child away from Ray. Ray’s shoulders slumped.

“I need coffee.” He told a passerby. They nodded, smiled and pushed a few dollar bills into his hand. Ray went to stop them but they’d already rushed away. “Well, I like free coffee.” Ray headed towards his new favourite haunt.

 

The bell chimed above him and Ray slammed the door shut. It made the bell louder.

“Shut up.” Ray stormed over to the bar where of course, Ryan was waiting. He was leaning on the counter top and smiling, as usual, at Ray.

“What did that poor bell ever do to you?” Ryan straightened up as Ray neared.

“It made more noise than I can handle.” Ray slumped onto the counter.

“Rough night?” Ryan said.

“I feel like I have quite literally roamed the wasteland.” Ray folded his arms.

“What?” Ryan pulled a face.

“Video games.” Ray reached out to  pat Ryan’s arms.

 

“Oh, okay.” Ryan looked to the hand on his arm. “How do you feel about trying some milk in your coffee today?” Ryan’s hand lingered over the cash register.

“What?” Ray looked up at Ryan.

“I think you need a little sweetness in your life and honestly, I don’t think you like black coffee very much.” Ryan said.

“What makes you think that?” Ray cleared his throat. Ryan shook his head.

“Really? I see the faces you pull when you drink it.” Ryan said.

“You’re right, I hate it.” Ray slumped.

“Then why did you order it?” Ryan rang up Ray’s new order.

 

“I wanted you to think I was mature.” Ray picked at the wood.

“Why did you want me to think that?” Ryan said. He gestured to the other side of the bar.

“I haven’t paid.” Ray fished in his pocket for some money.

“Don’t worry about it.” Ryan walked away. Ray frowned. He spied the tip jar and deposited his money into that instead. Ray dragged his feet to the other side of the counter. He watched Ryan make his drink. When he was done, Ryan said something to the other barista and took Ray’s drink over to him. Ray went to take it from his hands but Ryan brought it further than the bar.

“C’mon, sit with me.” Ryan took a seat at one of the tables.

“Anything for a coffee that doesn’t taste like shit.” Ray reached for the cup.

 

Ryan pulled the cup away and cradled it to his chest.

“Are you insulting my barista skills?” Ryan pet the lid of the cup.

“No, I just think it could use some improvements.” Ray opened and closed his hand demandingly.

“Yeah, care to share?” Ryan held the cup out of Ray’s reach. The younger man crossed his arms over his chest. He tapped a finger against his chin and chewed his lip.

“It needs more milk.” Ray dropped his arms and reached for the cup. “Please, I am dying.” Ryan offered the cup to Ray. He watched as Ray gulped it down.

 

“So why did you want to seem mature to me?” Ryan fiddled with a spot on his shirt.

“Because you’re hot.” Ray pulled the lid off his cup to see if there was more. Ryan coughed. He picked at his shirt to air it out a bit.

“Yeah?” Ryan ran his hand through his hair.

“Yeah, hasn’t anybody ever told you that?” Ray framed Ryan’s face with his hands. “You’re so gorgeous it’s illegal.” Ray pushed Ryan’s cheeks in.

“Thanks.” Ryan pulled Ray’s hands from his face. “Unfortunately, I’ve got to get back to work.” Ryan ran his thumb over the back of Ray’s hand.

“Oh, right. Okay.” Ray snatched his hands back.

“But I’ll be looking forward to our next date, I’ll bring the milk.” Ryan got up and returned to the bar.

 

“This was a date?” Ray turned the heads of the other customers. Ryan hid his face with his hands but he nodded. Ray clasped his hands together and gushed. He hit the arm of an unsuspecting customer. “I just had a date with that guy. That guy!” Ray hit the poor man’s shoulder a few more times. The man glared down at him and Ray pulled his hand away. “Sorry, I was just… that guy.” Ray pointed in Ryan’s direction again. He slapped his hand over his mouth.

“I’m happy for you, really, but I just came here for a coffee.” The man rushed out the door.

“Right, yeah… same. I’ve got to tell Michael.” Ray waved frantically Ryan as he ran through the door.

 

Ray ran past people, occasionally taking the time to grab them by the shoulders.

“I just had a date with the hottest barista in town. Can you believe that?” Most people shrugged him off. Others congratulated him and some cursed at him. It didn’t matter to Ray what their reaction was. He was loud as he skipped and danced across the street. Ray was a child on Christmas morning.

 

Ray was anything but mature.


End file.
